Sunday, August 31, 2008

Interpersonal Conflict: Two Sides of The Same Coin?



Welcome to my blog again guys and gals. Forgive me for the late post, it's been a hectic week. This week we shall think about a case scenario and how we can solve/understand it.
Here is a scenario that may often occur in a work place. Imagine this:
You are a student researcher in a lab and just started working in a new lab. Being new, you are still trying to get use to the environment, figuring out what you should and should not do, where all things belong to and where to get what. So technically you can summarize it into one word: LOST.
Since the lab you are in is quite a busy lab, the introduction to the lab was very brief and you were told to learn as you go. Being attached to a strict supervisor, you find her intimidating.
That would be the background of the situation.
The conflict would be as follows:

Your supervisor is a very busy person and therefore does not have much time to spend on you. Most questions asked are replied with short answers and you find that small mistakes that you made gets you a "scolding" from her. This creates a tense environment for you in the lab. Sometimes you would complain to your peers about your supervisor that she is mean and scary, and you lable her as “dragon lady” as a joke and laugh it off. Unknown to you, some of your peers told your supervisor on what you said, this of course upsets her. She however kept it to herself however she seems to be colder to you after the incident.
The situation scales up as you find yourself harder to communicate with her and with your project being under her, the project is under risk due to the lack of communication.
You are stressed out due to the environment and fear that everything you do might cause you to get scolded. Being highly intimidated by her, you feel that it is hard to approach her to discuss on your project. You consider bringing up the issue to your professor but you are afraid of causing more problems by doing so.
Main Problem:
You need to resolve the cold war between your supervisor and yourself to ensure the proper execution of the project. However you do not know how to bring up the topic to her personally. You need to figure out a way to resolve the conflict without causing more conflict between you and your supervisor.

Here's the question, what should you do to confront her to resolve the issue. Since keeping quite and hoping that it would pass by is not working, actions have to be taken.

To make things interesting I would post the other part of the coin a few days later. This way we could reflect on the way we think before and after we know the whole story.
Thus the title: Two Sides of the Same Coin

*edited*

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Junyen,

That's a thorny issue you have here.

If I were in the situation, perhaps I would approach the supervisor directly and apologise for making those remarks about her. She has no reason to treat me normally and nicely after I've made those unkind comments. Since I know I was the one at fault, I should be the one to take the initiative to salvage the situation. Saying sorry is definitely tough, but not saying sorry is going to make things even more dire.

Isn't it normal for us to treat others the same way they treat us? Who is going to be nice to you when you don't reciprocate? Since I don't take the initiative to talk to my supervisor, my supervisor is only going to do the same. Maybe she's wondering why I'm not talking to her either.

Perhaps the only way out from this situation is take the first step to clear all doubts and misunderstandings!

Brad Blackstone said...

Ouch! You obviously made a mistake not just by making the negative statement (labeling?), but by broadcasting that. How might you then have made proper amends?

I'm interested to hear the conclusion, eventually.

This assignment is, even with a few grammar errors, a clear and concise telling of the story. What is missing is the last requirement: a question.

Am I going to get a reputation for nitpicking?

Brad Blackstone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sammy said...

Ya, the situation does not seem to have a good way out. Either way, apologize to her or not apologize to her will both create a tense situation.
If I were in it, I would try to act like the fact that I do not like her is no longer exist and then try to act like I appreciate what she is doing for me, in this way, she might feel a bit more comfortable.